I Almost Quit Blogging: Fighting Blogger Burnout

It pains me to say it, but if you asked me in January, I might have told you that I was giving up on this whole blogging thing. I might have told you that I didn’t see it going anywhere, it didn’t bring me joy anymore, and Curated by Kirsten was a lost cause. I mean, I was this close. This blog has been in my life for nearly 5 years, and I was ready to throw in the towel.

Maybe you noticed. I was gone and not posting anywhere for months. Other than a few posts I had written in December and scheduled for January, I didn’t have any new content for a long time. I lost followers and people started asking me where I went. I mainly blamed it on the demands of my full-time job in public accounting during busy season, but that wasn’t the real reason.

There are a lot of reasons I almost quit this blog. It a hard decision I deliberated over for months. But, to really talk about the blogger burnout that hit me like a ton of bricks, I feel like I have to start with the beginning…

The Origin Story

A lot of people don’t really know how this blog came to be. I feel like now, in 2019, a lot of people start blogs with intention. They start them knowing that the blog will be a way to make money. They know exactly who their audience is and what niche they want to be in. Those are definitely good things, but when I started, I didn’t have any of that. I loved writing, so why not start a blog? And if people even started to read it, how cool would that be?

I started my first blog in 2013. I was procrastinating and I didn’t want to study for my first semester college finals, so Life in Kirsten’s Boots was born. Blogging was something I did when I remembered and had time. I wrote posts about whatever was going on in my life, like my trip to the Players Championship and DIY crafts I was obsessed with during my first year in a sorority. If you go back into the archives, you can still see some of the old posts!

During my first semester in the business school (this would have been early 2015 and I was a second semester Sophomore), I attempted my first re-brand. I changed the name of the blog and it lasted maybe 5-6 months. In the summer of 2015, right before I went to study abroad in Australia, I changed the blog name to The Wandering Brunette.

I stayed The Wandering Brunette a long time. That name and identity is still a huge part of my blogging journey. It’s how I thought of ‘lifestyle for the woman on the move’ and it was all based in my huge love for travel and experiencing new places.

Finally, in May of 2018, I felt I had grown out of the name. I thought of the name Curated by Kirsten in late 2017 and I just couldn’t get it out of my head. After going back and forth on it for months, I dove headfirst into another re-brand. I had my whole site redone, got a custom logo designed, and decided this was it.

My blog grew like crazy after that. I had new campaigns coming in all the time, I was creating content at warp speed, and it all felt easy, like this was the blog I was meant to have the whole time.

And then, in January of 2019, I almost quit. I almost gave up all of this.

The Reasons I Wanted to Quit:

There is more than one reason I was ready to close down this website for good. Some of the reasons are valid; some of the reasons are just emotional responses. There’s a reason people tell you not to make rash decisions when you’re emotional.

It didn’t bring me any joy.

When you go through something upsetting, people just tell you to do the things that make you happy. All of the sudden, my blog wasn’t that thing anymore. I didn’t feel like my blog made me happy at all. Regardless of whether this is true or not, I didn’t feel like I was reaching my intended audience. Above all, I didn’t feel like I was sharing my real self or making the different I always wanted to make.

What’s a girl to do when she doesn’t love the thing she started because she loved it anymore?

I mean, was I really passionate about fashion, or did I just like the free clothes? Was my blog just a way to justify my overflowing closet and hide my growing shopping problem? Was I excited about what I was doing, or had I sold out my brand and idea just to make money?

The self doubt and negative inner monologue was overwhelming. I talked about it with a few close blogging friends. Maybe 3-5 people knew total. One of my closest friends asked me why I started, suggesting maybe I needed to switch direction. A few of my blogging friends recommended taking a break. I thank my lucky stars that they were all here for me during this time, but we’ll get more into their advice later.

I was uninspired and unmotivated.

When I was at my lowest, I looked at my content and just felt nothing. I wasn’t excited for what I was creating and I felt like my content was all so superficial. The ideas just didn’t flow naturally anymore and I just didn’t feel any sense of direction or purpose.

A lot of this might have had to do with what was going on in my personal life, but at the time, it felt 100% like it was all stemming from my blog.

My ex said he didn’t care about it.

Here’s the hardest pill to swallow. I’ve only mentioned it briefly and I have no desire to go into specifics, but my ex and I recently went our separate ways. In the heat of the moment, he said a few things about my blog that really and truly hurt. I’ve since forgiven him on my journey for inner peace, but I won’t lie and say that those words didn’t really get to me.

For a long time, I blamed myself for asking him to take photos and blamed myself for letting my blog get in the way of my relationship. Instead of looking at my blog like this amazing thing that led me to so many amazing opportunities, I looked at it like some mechanism of self-sabotage.

It’s taken me a while to realize that the blog was not the driving factor in the end of our relationship. My blog is a part of who I am, and my partner should be supportive of that.

I felt like I couldn’t live up to the demands.

When my blog started taking off, I accepted far too many campaigns. I can admit that. Looking back, I would say it was one of the biggest mistakes I made in my blogging career.

I took on far too much too fast because I just thought that was what everyone was doing. Campaigns and deadlines were taking over my schedule and my life. I couldn’t figure out how to fit everything into my calendar and I couldn’t figure out how everyone else was either.

I felt like I wasn’t good enough.

In an industry where everyone is beautiful, it’s easy to fall into the comparison game. It’s easy to feel like your clothes aren’t cute enough, you aren’t making enough sales, or you’re not working with enough brands. In my case, I felt like I was competing against some invisible influencer mold. I wasn’t thin enough or blonde enough or tall enough…

I was even told one time by a brand that they didn’t want to work with me because I didn’t have the right ‘look.’ When every single blogger on their page had light skin, blue eyes, and blonde hair, it was hard to accept that rejection. It felt personal, especially after they raved about my work for one of their sister brands.

It was a drain on my mental health.

When you’re juggling deadlines, constantly comparing yourself to other bloggers, and you feel like you’re fighting to stay afloat, it can really take a toll on your mental health. I can’t even tell you how deep of a hole I was in. When I was ready to quit, it was because I didn’t see it getting better. All I saw was the hole getting deeper.

Why I decided to Keep Going:

Ok, so we’ve walked through the valley of the shadow of death now, but I’m still here.  Why did I decide to stick around?

Let me start with the bare minimum: I had a few brand collaborations I still had to finish and I wanted to stick to my word. I let all my brand partners know that I was feeling drained and wasn’t going to be posting for a while, but I told them I would post new content soon and theirs would be first on the list when content creation rolled around. When I felt somewhat okay, I wrapped up my brand collaborations and took a temporary break.

Then, I decided to look at social media differently. I began sharing, very intermittently, small things that made me happy. Whether it was sharing a quick photo I took of my favorite album playing on a record player or retweeting a funny video that made me laugh, I tried to use social media like a normal person instead of a blogger.

Around then, I began to realize how unhealthy my relationship had gotten with social media. I was constantly trying to produce content that didn’t bring me joy; no wonder I was experiencing burnout. I removed all the pressure I put on myself to post every single day, and just tried to keep asking myself why I started this whole thing.

After talking with a few friends and getting the much needed space from content creation, I realized that  I needed to take my blog in a different direction. I needed to write about what I loved, not just what I liked. I needed to write with passion again.

And so I got passionate.

I figured out where I went wrong and what I was doing that I didn’t like. I accepted that the blog might not be fun 100% of the time, but it was definitely fun 80-90% of the time.

The reason I’m cranking out content again like never before? It’s because I absolutely love what I’m talking about. It’s because I’m so excited to share my story with you all that I can’t not share it.

It started with writing about my first time at therapy. Then it turned into how I really cleaned out my closet. And now I’m talking about sustainable fashion, something I’ve been passionate about for a long time, and my own struggle with body image and mental health, an avenue I’ve wanted to explore on my blog for over a year. I want to share my biggest struggles with you so that other girls out there in my position know that they’re not alone.

And the thing that really made me realize how much I loved it?

I started hanging out with other creatives. When I started talking to them, I felt the passion and excitement for my blog that I hadn’t felt in a long time. I realized it was ok to want to change direction and these women would be there for me when I did.

I just took the photos in this post with Court and Dani from Let’s Louboutin. You can honestly see in the photos how much happier I am. I just had to find out what direction I wanted to go and then connect with the right people. It makes all the difference.

Side note: a few of you have reached out to me on social media and told me how much my recent posts have inspired you and motivated you. I just want to say, from the bottom of my heart, thank you. Those are the things that make me smile and realize that this is the right direction for me. I can feel it and I think you guys can too. I even teared up this morning when I read one of my recent messages! You are all amazing!

How do I fight blogger burnout?

Now, I wrote this post with blogger burnout in mind, because that’s what I was feeling. However, a lot of these tips could be given for anyone experiencing burnout, not just bloggers. Burnout happens to the best and brightest of us (sometimes even more than anyone else), but it is totally avoidable or, at the very least, it’s possible to rise from.

Take a break.

First thing is first. Pump the brakes.

Yes, you can probably find your way if you keep going. But if you realize you’re going the wrong way in your car, wouldn’t you want to figure out where you are before you plug in the GPS and keep going? (Otherwise your app just keeps telling you to take a u-turn.)

Just stop, take a breather, and do nothing more for a little bit. We all need vacations from our jobs, even if we really love our jobs.

Do something you love. Find a different hobby (and find one that you don’t want to monetize). Read. Go hiking. Take a fitness class. Eat brunch. Do something with just you and your wellbeing in mind.

Evaluate your future.

Now, figure out where you’re going. Is this the wrong direction? Are you not passionate about what you’re doing or are you just tired?

You might not come to this conclusion in a few weeks, even a few months. Take your time.

Take stock of the good and bad.

When you’re on that break, try a pros and cons list. Think about the things you love doing and the things that maybe aren’t as great. Maybe you’ll realize that the pros far outweigh the cons, maybe you won’t realize that. But in order to fully grasp where you’re at, you have to take a holistic view.

Surround yourself with trusted friends.

Ask your friends what they think. I told a handful of people how I felt about blogging and, while I got a lot of different advice, I took it all in different ways.

I asked a blogger who had taken a break from blogging how she felt when she took that break.

Two friends asked me why I started blogging.

One person told me I just needed to change direction.

Then, I went to a Woman’s networking event and talked to a handful of the strong women surrounding me at the table. They all encouraged me to push through and that all I needed was a change of direction. They were right.

All of these woman picked me back up, brushed me off, and told me to keep going. Maybe you just need an instigator to go in the right direction again.

Go all in.

I heard this on a podcast while I was writing this blog post and it felt strangely applicable:

You can totally build Rome in a day, but you have to tear down all these ruins first.

And it’s totally right. You can create something really great and you can probably create it quickly. But you’ve gotta take down what’s not working and find your why. Find out what makes you unique and what makes you special and just run with it. Share what you’re passionate about and find the love that made you want to start.

I’m back, and I couldn’t be more excited to see where this goes.