I suppose I should have shared this post during Women’s month. But, in my opinion, why limit the celebration of women to just one month?
When going through something traumatic, like a few things I’ve experienced this year, we’re always told to rely on our friends. And when the going gets really tough, it becomes clear who your tribe really is and who was just there for a good time. This year, despite everything else I had going on, I was lucky enough to find out that I had surrounded myself with amazing women and great friends.
I do struggle a bit, since most of my close friends don’t live in the Phoenix area, but I’ve built up quite the community here now as well. It can be difficult when your friends don’t live nearby and making friends as an adult is no cake walk. So, I had to go out of my way to start meeting new people.
It all started with an event:
Back in mid-March, I was invited to a dinner hosted by Bumble BFF and Lululemon. (This post shares a few photos from the event!) For those of you know don’t know what Bumble BFF is, it’s essentially a dating app but instead of swiping for dudes, you’re swiping for friends. I’ve actually gotten pretty lucky on the app and made two good friends out of it.
I was surrounded by so many cool, accomplished women at this event. We were all encouraged to write goals, figure out how we could reach those goals, and simply talk to one another and make connections.
When I was there, talking about the things I wanted to achieve and those goals that seem like pipe dreams, I felt excited. I mean, I could just feel the joy coming out of me as I spoke and, for once, I felt like these dreams were actually attainable. The women sitting with me at the table asked me how I was going to take the steps to achieve those goals and helped reignite the passion for my old ideas.
Then, I listened to their stories, goals, and dreams. They spoke with so much passion, everyone at the table could feel it too. Cheesy as it sounds, that’s powerful stuff.
That’s when I realized – that’s how it should feel. When you’re surrounded by your true peers, those that can keep up with you without holding you back, those are your people. They are the people who encourage you to be better and lift you up.
Then I talked to my therapist.
I think I spend a lot of my time figuring out how to make people like me. Then, I’m super disappointed if they don’t. It’s an exhausting way to live and definitely a behavior I’m trying to change. That’s the thing about being human though – we do want people to like us. That feeling is natural.
But, she finally told me what I needed to hear –
It’s okay if not everyone is your closest friend. As we get older, we get closer and closer to finding our true tribe. Yes, you need those friends that you can rely on to pick you back up when you’re down. But, not everyone has to be that kind of friend.
Make friends to go out and party with, make friends to enjoy wine nights with, make friends at work, and make friends that love different things. Above all, focus on making friends that don’t hold you back.
There’s something to be said about the people with whom you surround yourself. Some even say we’re a mix of the 5 people we spend the most time around. So, you have to make friends that encourage you to be yourself and to keep improving, no matter what.
So if you’re searching for your girl gang:
Go to local women’s events.
This year, I’ve gone to two women’s empowerment events. Although one did not turn out as expected (Natalie, you know which one I’m talking about), the Bumble x Lululemon dinner picked me up and put my back on my feet. After the event, it was like a switch flipped; I felt more like myself again. All I had to do was surround myself with more kick-ass women.
Connecting with women there led to friendships outside the event. I’m so excited to continue building my relationships with some of these women!
Get out there and do what you love.
This is pretty much my advice all the time for any situation. But the truth is, if you do what you love, you will meet other people who love the same things.
In my spare time, I’ve connected with other bloggers to help each other take photos, gone to brunch with girls I met on Instagram, taken back up my volunteer coach position with The First Tee, started attending hot yoga, and – of course – I started training at F45.
Now, I’ve connected with other bloggers who love creating content as much as I do, I have friends at my workout studio, and I finally feel like I have my people in all aspects of my life. All it took was getting out of the house and doing a few things that I love (even if it meant going alone).
Reach out to local women who inspire you.
Connecting with other bloggers in the area is by far one of my favorite things to do. Generally, I reach out to bloggers that I follow. However, if another girl in the area reached out and wanted to meet up, I would 100% want to go. And I’m telling ya’ – I bet other bloggers and women feel the same way.
It’s flattering to be admired by someone and everyone loves talking about themselves and their journey. If there is someone you follow on social media or are acquaintances with but want to get to know better, just reach out to them and ask them for coffee! You never know what may come of it.
Make time for them.
Now that you have some awesome ladies in your life, make time for them. This should be a given, but if you don’t nurture the relationship, it won’t go anywhere. This goes for any relationship; you get out what you put into it. So, put some effort into it and I think you’ll be happy to see where it goes.
Listen to them, learn from them, and lift them up.
Be there for your friends. Actively listen to them.
A few weeks ago, my good friend Natalie shared a post on how to empower other women. I strongly suggest you check it out. She suggests celebrating each other’s wins, uplifting each other, and building a community and I couldn’t agree more. She had been there for me in some of my darkest moments and I am so honored to call her one of my close friends.
Enjoy the other photos from the event!
All photos were taken by Allie Jorde.
