Happy Easter everyone! I don’t post often on Sundays, but today feels like a big deal to me. I have fond Easter memories from when I was little. Even when I was in college, my parents used to have chocolate delivered right to my dorm for the holiday. Even though chocolate is not really the ‘reason for the season’ I can’t lie and say that I didn’t love it every single year. It was just a reminder that my parents loved, cared, and thought about me, even from a different state. And, as much as I didn’t love fighting for a seat in the pews at Easter service, those memories with my family still bring a smile to my face.
This year hasn’t been easy for me. If you’ve been keeping up with me on Instagram and Twitter, you may have gathered that already. However, the past few months made me step back and look critically at my life and my relationships. I realized that I was focusing on a lot of the negatives instead of all the positives.
So, when Lent rolled around, I had something very specific in mind that I wanted to give up. Don’t know what Lent is?
As a lot of you may know, I don’t often talk about my religion on my blog. I was raised Catholic and it remains a big part of who I am. Everyone knows about Easter, but us Catholics have a whole season leading up to it – Lent.
Lent starts on Ash Wednesday and its observance lasts for 40 days. This mirrors the 40 days that Jesus spent fasting in the wilderness before starting his ministry. Typically, Catholics give something up. Supposedly, this is meant to mirror the sacrifice of Jesus Christ’s journey into the desert for 40 days. This is known as one’s Lenten sacrifice. Us Catholics know a thing or two about suffering and guilt.
Are you still with me?
When I was young, we used to go to church every single Sunday. I remember getting to go to the Youth group every Sunday during mass where they would break down the Gospel in a way that kids could understand. I remember joking around with my parents during mass. (Mom and dad, if you’re reading this, smell my finger.)
As I got older, I had to sit though the adult mass, which meant I had to listen the the Priest’s homily.
I’ve listened to a lot of homilies in my life (it’s where the priest breaks down the Gospel a.k.a. the word of God, for us plebeians) but some have definitely stuck with me over the years. The one I remember the most is where he talked about Lenten sacrifices.
I remember my priest saying during the homily that, for Lent, too many people give up things that make them happy instead of giving up things that are bad for them. He said that a sacrifice doesn’t have to be something that makes you happy or something superficial like a certain food. (I’m looking at all the people that gave up dessert or chocolate over the years.) It can be something that’s holding you back; it can be a vice that prevents you from being a better person.
He told the congregation to try to give up a bad habit and focus on growth instead of giving up something temporary. For years, I have thought about that homily. And – I won’t lie – the years where I gave up things like meat or dessert were far easier than the years I tried to break a bad habit.
But this year, the year I decided to focus on myself and my own growth, I gave up negativity. It hasn’t been easy at all. It’s been difficult to re-frame my thoughts of self doubt, worry, and regret, but removing those thoughts makes space for positive and grateful thoughts. And I don’t succeed at it all the time. It’s a hard habit to break and it will probably take me a lot longer than 40 days.
At the same time, I noticed so many positive changes happening in my life when I began to focus on the positives. I don’t particularly believe in the law of attraction, but there’s something to be said about ‘your vibe attracts your tribe.’
I started developing stronger friendships.
When I decided to focus on the positive aspects of my life, I began to reach out to my friends to reconnect. I even started reaching out to new people in the Phoenix area to start developing a bigger friend group here. (Shoutout to Bumble BFF to connecting me to some pretty awesome ladies!)
I began saying yes to everything: happy hours, girls’ nights in, girls’ nights out, weekend events, and more. Saying yes to those things forced me out of my ‘funk’ and helped me build relationships that would have otherwise been stagnant. Those friendships add so much to my life and I’m so glad I have these people in my life.
I learned that my support system was bigger and stronger than I thought.
They say things happen for a reason. Maybe I don’t buy into that all the time, but when I started taking an outside view, I realized that I had surrounded myself with amazing people. All of the sudden, I no longer felt as alone. I realized that I had so many people who loved and cared about me.
I started learning how to make myself happy.
Forcing yourself to be happy is strange. It’s a very ‘fake it until you make it’ kind of thing. There are always days that feel harder than others. Sometimes, it takes a lot of effort to get out of bed and just do the basic things.
But I began to notice, the more I forced myself out and about, the happier I felt. I started doing things that I’ve always wanted to do, but never had the time. I hiked Camelback in Phoenix, I started going to hot yoga regularly, and, like I mentioned above, I started saying yes to things. I was going to the events that my office and fitness center was hosting and just started having fun. It was almost as if I’d been carrying so much weight that now that I didn’t have anything holding me down anymore.
I lost weight.
So maybe above I was talking about metaphorical weight. But now, I mean real weight. I wasn’t as stressed, I was staying active, and I wasn’t eating because I was bored anymore. Even though working out and not overeating is where I can attribute most of my weight loss, I know that I was working out and eating better because I actually felt better.
It’s kind of bizarre; you have to love your body before you can take care of it. Not the other way around. I remember hearing on a podcast once that this woman didn’t start working out and eating right until she did it because she loved her body not because she hated it. So I adopted the same mindset and everything kind of fell into place.
I performed better at work.
Even though I have a long way to go, a healthy mindset and healthy lifestyle changes about every aspect of your life. Once my mind was clear of all the loud negative thoughts, I had a lot more space to concentrate at work. Not surprisingly, that let to me doing better at work too.
Changing your mindset is hard. It doesn’t happen overnight; it doesn’t even happen in 40 days. For me, (and I’m not done yet) it’s taken serious behavioral change, it’s taken therapy, it’s taken a lot of action and things that I don’t usually do. I’ve journaled, I’ve surrounded myself with women that I admire, I’ve gotten so active and out of the house, it almost feels like I’m never home.
But, the things worth having never come easy. So, in the meantime, I’ll keep working at it, because the changes already feel worth it.
P.S. My dress is from Christy Dawn, a company that specializes in sustainable and ethical practices. If you use this link to purchase something, you’ll get $30 off your first order!
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